You just made me feel so damn special
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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