evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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