I love black thongs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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