like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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