I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a threesome with these popsicles
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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