Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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