i don't plan on having that self control this summer
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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