i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize