i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize