He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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