xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize