You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize