I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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