idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
not ubering you a puppy
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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