i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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