The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
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some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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