Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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