Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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