The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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