You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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