So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
someone owes me an orgasm
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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