he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Floor bacon is actually really good
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