i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just cut my nipple shaving
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize