Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he thought i was a dude.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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