I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize