You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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