I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize