I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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