I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just tell him i said nine months
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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