Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize