I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
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period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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