Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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