these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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