True but thats because hes a fetus.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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