If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
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if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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