I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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