I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize