nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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