Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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