wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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