so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize