I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
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Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need to calm my uterus...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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