Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize