dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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