Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize