Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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