i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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