every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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