that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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