I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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